For many, anxiety can feel like a constant companion, creeping into our thoughts, dictating our feelings, and sometimes even altering the course of our lives. We experience it in different ways—racing thoughts, a tightness in our chest, a deep sense of unease—but regardless of how it manifests, one thing is certain: anxiety can be overwhelming.
When dealing with anxiety, we often want to push it away, ignore it, or wish it would disappear. But the surprising truth is that the first step in overcoming anxiety isn’t fighting it, but rather, accepting it. This might sound counterintuitive at first—why would we accept something that makes us feel so uncomfortable?! But embracing acceptance is a powerful, transformative approach that can lead to freedom from the grip of anxiety.
Why Acceptance Matters
Acceptance isn’t about resigning yourself to anxiety or giving up on finding relief. Instead, it’s about acknowledging that anxiety exists in your life right now, without judgment or self-criticism. This approach creates space for you to experience the emotion fully and allows you to move forward with a greater sense of calm and self-compassion.
When we try to fight anxiety, it often intensifies. Think of it like a beach ball: when you push it underwater, it only springs back up with more force. The same happens when we push away our anxious thoughts and feelings—we unintentionally reinforce them. By accepting anxiety, we stop fueling this cycle and begin to lessen its power over us.
What Does Acceptance Look Like?
Acknowledge It Without Judgment
Acceptance starts with recognizing anxiety when it arises, without labeling it as “bad” or something to be ashamed of. It’s easy to feel frustrated or weak when anxiety takes over, but self-criticism only adds to the emotional burden. Instead, simply notice the feeling. “I’m feeling anxious right now,” or “I feel nervous about this situation.” Acknowledging the emotion allows you to be present with it instead of being swept away.
Separate the Feeling from Your Identity
Anxiety does not define who you are.
In other words, you are NOT your anxiety!
It’s a temporary feeling, not a permanent trait. Too often, we say things like, “I am an anxious person” or “I always feel this way.” But this reinforces the idea that anxiety is an inseparable part of us. In reality, anxiety is just an experience—not a label. By accepting it without tying it to our self-worth, we can begin to detach from its grip.
Let It Be Without Resistance
Rather than trying to push anxiety away or make it disappear immediately, allow it to simply be. Sit with the discomfort, even if it feels unsettling. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious and that this feeling will pass. The more we allow ourselves to feel something fully, the less power it has over us. Over time, you’ll notice that anxiety doesn’t last forever, and the space between anxious moments will likely grow.
Be Kind to Yourself
Acceptance also involves treating yourself with kindness. When anxiety strikes, our first instinct may be to criticize ourselves for not handling it better. But instead, try to treat yourself with compassion. Speak to yourself as you would a friend who’s going through a tough time or a younger version of yourself. “It’s okay to feel anxious right now. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
The Power of Acceptance
When we accept anxiety instead of resisting it, we create a healthier relationship with it. We stop seeing it as an enemy to be defeated and instead approach it with curiosity and self-compassion. This shift in perspective can reduce anxiety’s hold on us, making it easier to navigate through tough moments without being overwhelmed.
Moreover, acceptance opens the door for healing. Once we stop resisting anxiety, we can start implementing other techniques—such as mindfulness, breathing exercises, and cognitive reframing—that help reduce its intensity. We learn that we are not powerless in the face of anxiety; we have the ability to choose how we respond to it.
Moving Forward: Acceptance as a Lifelong Practice
Overcoming anxiety is a journey, not a one-time fix. Acceptance is just the beginning, and as you practice it more, you may find that anxiety has less of an impact on your life. Every time you accept it, you take one step closer to mastering how to coexist with it—without letting it control you.
So, the next time anxiety arrives, instead of fighting it, try accepting it. Embrace it as part of your human experience, and remind yourself that it’s temporary. You don’t need to have all the answers right away, but with each small act of acceptance, you’ll be closer to overcoming the grip of anxiety and reclaiming your peace of mind.
If you are struggling with anxiety, a counselor at Abide would love to help. Reach out today at https://abidecounselors.com/contact/
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