If you are a human, chances are you’ve experienced grief. Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it often leaves us feeling alone, confused, and overwhelmed. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or a life transition, your grief is real and feelings are valid. Counselors at Abide who work with grieving individuals every day have insight into what helps—and what doesn’t. Here are 10 things they want you to know:
1. Grief Isn’t Just About Death
While losing a loved one is a common reason for grief, people can also grieve after divorce, job loss, a health diagnosis, moving, or other major life changes. Any significant loss can trigger real grief.
2. There’s No Timeline for Grief
Unfortunately, from well-meaning friends or American culture, you might feel pressure to “move on” after a few weeks or months. It is important to remember that there is no deadline or timeline for healing. Grief doesn’t follow a straight path—it can ebb and flow over months or even years. The goal is not to “get over” your grief, but to learn to live with it and grow around it.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
3. You Are Not Meant To Go Through It Alone
Many people isolate themselves while grieving, but connection is crucial to healing. Talking to a counselor, joining a support group, and simply leaning on a trusted friend can all make a big difference.
4. Your Grief Might Not Look Like Someone Else’s
Some people cry every day. Others don’t cry at all. Some throw themselves into work, while others shut down. There is simply no “right” way to grieve. Your process is uniquely your own.
5. Grief Can Affect Your Body, Too
Fatigue, headaches, appetite changes, and sleep issues are common during grief. These are not signs you’re “weak”—they’re natural responses to emotional pain. Take care of your body with rest, hydration, and movement when you can.
6. Feeling “Numb” Is Normal
If you feel detached, emotionless, or like you’re in a fog, you’re not alone. Many people experience emotional numbness in the early stages of grief. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you until you’re ready to process more.
7. Anger, Guilt, and Relief Are All Valid Emotions
Grief is complex. You might feel angry, guilty, or even relieved, especially after a long illness or difficult relationship. All (yes all!) emotions that come up with grief are normal and deserve compassion.
8. Grief Isn’t Linear—It’s a Rollercoaster
You may feel “better” one day, only to feel like you’ve gone backward the next. That’s completely normal. Healing from grief often looks like two steps forward, one step back.
9. Counseling Can Help You Make Meaning of Your Loss
Therapists don’t erase your grief—but they can help you understand it, express it, and integrate it into your life. Grief counseling creates a space where healing can unfold gently and without judgment.
10. It’s Okay to Find Joy Again
Many people feel guilty when they start to laugh, smile, or enjoy life again. Counselors want you to know: finding joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loss. It means you’re honoring life, love, and resilience.
Final Thoughts
Grief can feel heavy, unpredictable, and lonely—but you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. Understanding that grief is a process, not a problem to solve, is a crucial step toward healing. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a counselor at Abide or join a grief support group near you. You deserve care and compassion and support, especially in your grief journey.
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