When I talk about boundaries with my clients, the first thing we have to clarify is what boundaries are for. 

Boundary-setting has been glamorized by the increasingly popular self-care culture of the last 20 years. The growth of mental health awareness is a wonderful thing, but it’s easy to get confused about what these catchphrases really mean!

I remind my clients that boundaries say what YOU will do, not what others can or can’t do. For example, “If you continue to yell, I am going to leave the room to get some space,” or, “I know the atmosphere of that party won’t be healthy for me, so I am going to stay home tonight.” Notice how neither of these statements are attempting to force control over someone else’s poor choices, but rather to communicate clearly about what we are really in control of – OUR choices.

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